I am not happy. That’s not so much a tone I’m trying to set, as it is just a fact. Just sort of a general statement that applies to me at most times. I am sad and anxious and awkward and I have a hard time dealing with people, not because I don’t know how, but because I often find it difficult to care and it takes too much energy. I can be oddly easy to please though, as my girlfriend (who I like most) can attest.
I like soda and candy and most foods that make me feel either physically or emotionally like shit. I like being outside. I like dogs (40 lbs +, please). I like watching movies by David Lynch and Kubrick and Von Treir and other directors that I think I understand but probably don’t. I like knowing that I don’t understand something. I like video games for a little while. I like driving. I like music. A lot. I like not feeling like shit. I even like other stuff, too. But, I dislike I lot of things as well and what better way to combat disliking things then to systematically view them individually, complain heavily about them, and then see if there is anything to be redeemed about the things I dislike.
Maybe it’s an exercise in being less bitter, who knows. But if I can write this and get some stupid thoughts out, or if someone can read this and say “yeah man, fuck traffic,” then I guess I’ve done something, haven’t I. Right?